


You Know It Will Always Just Be Me

by rosesandcinnamon



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 8 to be exact, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Breakups, F/F, but no content in the story itself, happy endings, kinda sorta band!au, small drug mention in one of the chapter titles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-01-17 15:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1392982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesandcinnamon/pseuds/rosesandcinnamon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Out of nowhere, Annie dumped Mikasa and moved away the summer before senior year. No one could get in touch with her, and the two girls spent the next four years missing each other. When they do see each other again, Mikasa only has one question: Why?<br/>--<br/>Inspired by Panic! at the Disco's Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off and Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. As a girl, you have set your heart / On haunting me forever / From the start, it's never silent (12)

**Author's Note:**

> Whooo here we go. So this fic isn't in chronological order, but the numbers at the end of each chapter title are. So if you'd like to read it in order eventually, knock yourself out!  
> *Those numbers may change every so often because I am an idiot who can't figure timelines out!  
> And thank you Rem for helping with the summary!  
> \--  
> 

Everywhere Annie went, she saw Mikasa. She saw Mikasa in the falling leaves turned red and orange and yellow, in the red scarves and coats on passing strangers, in dark-haired girls on the street whose faces she never caught a glimpse of, in the music on her iPod. She saw Mikasa in her own reflection, in the things she had stolen months ago and forgotten whose they really were.

She was everywhere, and it was more painful than anything Annie had ever experienced.

And she hated it.

What kind of loser couldn’t take their eyes off of simple things that reminded her of Mikasa, just in hopes she could see her again?

It was fucking pathetic, and she needed to stop.

She was going to graduate from high school and go to college, somewhere far far away from her father. That was her only goal.

(Some part of her suggested going back to Shiganshina, once school was over. Find Mikasa, explain, and live happily ever after. She ignored that thought.)

Mikasa probably hated her now.

What kind of girlfriend dumps the only person she’d ever loved out of the blue and leaves?

A really, really shitty one, that’s who.

She walked to the bus stop alone, earbuds blasting music on shuffle, and well, that didn’t work out for her.

“ _Baby seasons change but people don’t and I’ll always be waiting in the back room,_ _I'm boring but overcompensate with headlines and flash, flash, flash photography.._ _Now don’t pretend you ever forgot about me-“_

No.

“ _Cross my heart and hope to die, burn my lungs and curse my eyes, I've lost control and I don't want it back-“_

No.

“ _Well, maybe I'm a crook for stealing your heart away, yeah, maybe I'm a crook for not caring for it-“_

No.

Fuck this.

Carefully keeping her expression blank, she switched over to her collection of soundtracks, trying to lose herself in the music without words.

But this was from a movie she had watched with Mikasa, and fond memories of curling up together on the couch and idly kissing when they were bored came flooding back. Annie sighed, switching once more, to podcasts, letting a deep voice talking about impossible things drive all her thoughts away, trying really hard not to burst into tears.

She was finally at the bus stop by then, standing alone on the corner, everyone else there avoiding her.

The tiny blonde had punched a dude in the face for trying to sit with her on her first day.

You would avoid her too.

But one girl walked over to her and stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to take out an earbud before speaking.

“You look like you’re about to cry. Are you okay?”

Annie looked at her, blue eyes cold, and shrugged.

“I’m fine. Thank you.”

She smiled and held out her hand, easy smile on her face.

“I’m Hitch. Nice to meet you, we don’t get very many new kids in this part of town. Obviously.”

She grudgingly shook it, not having the heart to shove her away.

(But that’s really what got her into trouble in the first place, not having the heart.)

“Annie. I’m not surprised, really. I only moved here-”

She coughed, cutting herself off, glad to see the bus coming down the street. She nodded to it, and they turned, grabbing their backpacks, and she managed to give Hitch a small smile as they got on the bus.

Annie just wanted to get through this day, this week, this year without any major disturbances. Get up, go to school, do the bare minimum of work possible, don’t piss off Dad. Just survive. That was all.

Life had lost its shine without Mikasa.

Just because she could live without her didn’t mean she wanted to.

\--

“ _Everybody, put up your hands, say: ‘I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love_ ’-“

Loud music woke Mikasa, and slowly realizing what the song was, she rolled out of bed, fury in her dark eyes, throwing open her door and storming into Eren’s room.

“Eren, I swear to fucking God, turn your alarm off!”

She slammed down the button on his alarm, cutting the music off, turning to glare at a very sleepy and confused Eren.

“I was about to get it, God, Mikasa, calm down.”

He tossed his pillow at her teasingly, trying to distract her from her anger, but she just stopped it from hitting her, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thump as she walked out, leaving the door open behind her.

She went back inside her room, closing the door and hiding her face in her hands, lyrics echoing.

_I don’t wanna be in love, I don’t wanna be in love-_

She didn’t wanna think about it, she was going to go to school and act like a normal human being and _forget her_.

Mikasa pushed herself off the door, going over to the closet and flicking through the various clothing in it, stopping short at a sweatshirt just a little bit too small for her.

Damn. She still had that.

With a heavy sigh, she found a shirt good enough for the day, getting dressed and going through her morning routine like usual.

But it wasn’t like usual, was it?

She wasn’t texting Annie good morning, she wasn’t anticipating seeing her at the bus stop, she wasn’t thinking about hanging out later, she was… Lonely.

It was pathetic.

Everyone went through breakups, you couldn’t expect to stay with one person forever, that was unrealistic and stupid and childish.

But she had really thought they could work.

They had. They did.

But now Mikasa didn’t know.

She missed Annie so badly, so fucking badly, it…

Wow, she needed to stop thinking about it.

\--

Mikasa and Annie both went about their days without a smile, so different from days not that long ago, lost in their thoughts of each other, but there was no way they could know that. Too far away from each other, too emotionally distant to send a simple text, and it was killing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs that come on Annie's iPod, in order, are: "The Take Over, The Break's Over" by Fall Out Boy, Nicotine by Panic! at The Disco, and Love Love Love by Of Monsters and Men. The song that wakes Mikasa up is Dancefloor Anthem by Good Charlotte.


	2. Is it still me that makes you sweat? (1)

Annie and Mikasa had known each other forever, just like everybody else who had gone to Maria Elementary, Rose Middle School, and Sina High School.

They had always thought the other was pretty, envying her dark hair or her light blue eyes, but were in separate social circles since kindergarten, and never spoke. Annie hung out with Reiner and Bertholdt and Ymir (if she could be parted from Historia) and not many other people. Mikasa stayed with Eren and Armin and a few others, namely Jean, Sasha, and Connie.

The two girls never expected anything, but had always longed for something to happen, in a way. They didn’t have _crushes_ on each other, really, just thought the other was attractive and kind of wished they talked more.

So one night in October, their freshman year, they were persuaded to go to some party a senior was throwing, and, well, it was an interesting night.

\--

“Mikasa, Mikasa _please_ , Eren’s going no matter what, and that means I have to go, and I’m scared.”

Mikasa stared at Armin, rubbing her forehead with a sigh.

“I guess… Yeah, I’ll come.”

“Yes! Thank you so much!”

\--

“Annie, come on, don’t be a shut-in!”

Annie looked at Reiner, blue eyes cold.

“You think I give a fuck about social standards? I thought we were closer than that, Reiner.”

He sighed impatiently at her, nudging Bertholdt.

“Help me out here, Bertl!”

The taller boy rubbed the back of his neck, reluctant to push Annie.

“Please, Annie, everyone’s going…”

“Yeah, I bet _Mikasa_ is going…”

With a smirk, Reiner brought up Annie’s weak point, and she jumped to her feet, punching him before he could guard himself. She glared up at him, and Reiner regretted his decision to provoke the five feet of rage.

“Fuck off.”

Bertholdt looked slightly alarmed as Reiner took shelter behind him, Annie stepping back.

He should have known not to bring it up. It was _one fucking time_ she had been watching Mikasa absently in class, and Reiner had noticed.

God, this was why she avoided social situations. School was bad enough, these idiots were bad enough, she didn’t need to make a fool of herself in front of people.

(She also kind of thought there might be a deeper source of her introversion. She ignored that thought.)

But….

Well, maybe just this once.

“You know what? Fine. I’ll come. Get me a reasonable excuse for my dad, and I’ll go.”

Reiner moved from behind Bertholdt, eyes lighting up.

“You have to wear those jeans, the stonewashed ones! And your normal hoodie, if you don’t wear it someone could think you’re trying too hard. But those jeans, no hetero, make you look really good.”

Annie had the urge to take it back and stay home.

But then Reiner would be able to guilt her later.

Well, shit.

\--

Mikasa wasn’t into parties.

Or people.

Or any social function.

Eren and Armin were off somewhere, probably being an idiot and trying to prevent him being an idiot, and Mikasa just did not have the energy for this tonight.

At least the music was okay.

She stood in a corner of the kitchen, leaning against the walls with a bored expression, absently singing along.

Wow, she wanted to be at home with a book and her favorite music.

\--

Annie was very happily standing by herself in an isolated spot, when Reiner pulled her into a group of people sitting on the floor, and for some reason, she didn’t have the foresight to say no.

“Spin the bottle is fucking juvenile, Hanji, we’re not babies.”

“So? Come oooon, Levi!”

She watched a couple of seniors fight, noting the taller’s bright eyes. They seemed overly excited about everything.

What Annie didn’t notice, however, was the game right in front of her.

\--

“Go around in a circle, it’s only fair.”

Mikasa glared at Armin, hissing a complaint.

“Thanks, Armin, glad to see you care.”

He smiled at her innocently, and she spun the bottle, hoping it wouldn’t point to anyone disagreeable.

(Oh God, what if it landed on Eren? That would be awful, he was her _brother_!)

It spun a few times, and she watched it slowly slow to a stop.

Mikasa raised her head to meet Annie’s gaze, blush matching hers.

\--

Annie felt her face warm, hoping it wasn’t too blotchy.

She looked hesitantly to Mikasa, unsure of what to do next.

Mikasa took a breath and leaned over, lips meeting Annie’s.

It was strange, but not unpleasant, not lasting long, as she sat back down after only a few seconds, and then Annie realized Reiner was laughing his ass off beside her.

Overwhelmed by the noise and people and movement and attention, she spared a moment to hit him, standing up and leaving, unaware of Mikasa’s eyes on her.

She found a way out of the house, stepping out into the front yard with a grateful sigh. The weather wasn’t too bad yet, it was only early October, but still, there was a chill in the air, and Annie was thankful for her ever-present hoodie.

Sitting down on the porch, she stared off into space, slowly regaining some sense of comfort.

She didn’t expect Mikasa to come join her.

\--

They didn’t speak for a long time, just sitting outside together for a while, muffled music and chatter leaking out of the house. As the night went on, it got colder, and Annie realized that Mikasa was shivering beside her.

“Here. Sorry if it’s too small.”

She pulled her hoodie off, handing it to her casually. She looked at her in surprise, accepting it silently and putting it on.

It was kind of small, but… It felt right.

The sight of Annie not in her hoodie was strange, and Mikasa finally saw just how small she was, looking at the way her t-shirt clung to her body.

And then she realized she was staring, a blush growing as she drew her attention away.

She had never expected Annie to talk to her.

But here they were, so…

“I can’t believe I let Eren and Armin convince me to come.”

Annie smirked, and she thought, just maybe, she laughed a little.

“I can’t believe Reiner convinced my dad to let me come.”

Mikasa turned her head to look at her, illuminated by the streetlamps bright glow.

“Strict parent?”

“You could say that.”

There was a strange tone in her voice, but she chose not to push it. This was more than enough already, she didn’t need to ruin it.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Mikasa catching Annie’s smell whenever she moved, even if it was just a miniscule amount, and then she spoke again.

“Why have we never talked before?”

She turned her head to look at her, considering it.

“Cause I don’t like reaching out. Or spending much time with more than a couple people. Cause you’re always with Armin and Eren.

She was about to reply when Annie’s phone buzzed. It was still in her hoodie’s pocket, so Mikasa handed it to her, their fingertips brushing.

[Bertl Turtle: Come on, we’re gonna go.]

[Annie: Outside already]

Bertholdt came out of the front door, dragging a protesting Reiner with him. Annie stood up as they left the yard, leaving without a word.

Mikasa caught her hand.

“I don’t like hanging out with more than a couple people either. And I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you.”

Annie raised her eyebrows, but Mikasa could have sworn the corner of her mouth lifted, and she let her fingers trail over her hand as she pulled away.

Watching her go, catching up with Reiner and Bertholdt, she realized she still had Annie’s hoodie on.

Well, she was just going to have to return it, wasn’t she?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reiner is 100% fashion king, and I will fight you on this.  
> I feel like this chapter is weird, or that they're ooc, but... I don't know. All I know is that I want to get to the good parts.  
> Heh.  
> The good parts.


	3. Am I who you think about in bed? When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking As you're sliding off your dress? (9)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER WAS KILLING ME WITH ITS SLOWNESS OH MY GOD I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO PAINFUL TO READ (besides the angst)  
> casually hands all my body issues to annie

That was the worst date ever.

Why had she even agreed to going out with that boy?

She didn’t even _like_ boys all that much.

He made fucking short jokes at her.

Why had she even tolerated him in the first place?

Taking off her shoes and going into her room, shutting the door, Annie sighed.

She was trying to make herself feel better, but it wasn’t working. It wasn’t working.

She missed Mikasa, she missed her so much, nothing was the same without her.

She hated this. She hated this town. She hated this school. She hated these people. She hated her father.

No, no, she- she didn’t-

She did.

Hot tears making their way down her face, fumbling for the zipper at the back of her dress, she took it off, along with her bra, going over to her closet and pulling an older hoodie out of her closet and pulling it on.

This one still smelled like Mikasa.

She leaned against the wall, hands covering her face, a soft sob loud in the silence of her room. Wiping her face, she plugged her iPod into the speakers, hitting play as soon as it turned on.

Annie ignored whatever song came on, sitting on her bed and letting herself fall onto a pillow, grabbing one of many she had and curling herself around it, trying to stop crying and failing.

Breathless sobs wracked her small frame, thoughts filtering through her bleary mind.

She had always hated how tiny she was, it was embarrassing and stupid and she hadn’t fucking asked for her short legs, she hadn’t fucking asked for any of this bullshit.

The main reason she wore oversized hoodies was to hide her short stature. If she pretended she wasn’t tiny all the way around, maybe she wouldn’t be.

That never fucking worked, of course, especially since she couldn’t go a day without someone calling her short.

Mikasa had never done that, though. And after initial teasing, she learned quickly not to say a word about Annie’s height.

But as they got closer, she gently told her how much she loved leaning down slightly to kiss her, or how easily Annie could set her head on her shoulder, the way her hands fit with Mikasa’s.

It did make her feel a little bit better, actually.

It’s easier to grow to like something about yourself when you know someone else loves it.

Mikasa really had loved her, hadn’t she?

Had loved?

Loved?

For a moment, Annie let herself wonder if she still loved her. Maybe. She had left her out of nowhere, but…

Well, it didn’t matter now.

Taking a deep breath, she finally recognized the song playing and-

“ _If heaven's grief brings hell's rain, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday, (I know I'm bad news), for just one yesterday (I saved it all for you).”_

 She buried her face in her pillow, clutching it tighter, trying to forget, trying to just stop thinking, stop thinking about her, to let it go, but she couldn’t, she  _wouldn’t_ , some part of her held on to the hope that Mikasa still loved her, that they’d see each other again someday and it would be okay, they would be okay, she would be okay.

 “ _We're never done with killing time. Can I kill it with you?”_

Annie laughed, though it sounded like she was still crying, and she was. That was all they had done together, Mikasa and her. Kill time. Together.

 And it worked.

 They spent their time, at first, quiet. Reading or studying and doing homework and slowly learning each other. Silence was never awkward, because they didn’t make it so.

 Slowly, they started talking. Stories and things that interested them and music and common interests.

They were so comfortable together, words came easily to Annie, unlike normally, normally she was silent, keeping all her thoughts to herself.

There was an odd freedom in that, in having someone you could tell anything to, and now she was back to quiet, and she slipped back into it so easily.

The worst part was that her father thought it was an improvement, and Annie- Annie couldn’t even think about that night without wanting to break something, she was still so fucking angry.

She curled herself around the pillow, sighing.

She missed home.

She missed her idiot best friends, she missed the security of living the same place all your life, she missed so much more than Mikasa.

Knowing it would probably hurt more than it was worth, she found her phone, rolling over and looking through her photos.

She hovered over the ones with Mikasa in them for a second, choosing to skip them, going to one she didn’t remember.

When it loaded, she laughed, heart aching.

She didn’t remember it because she hadn’t taken it.

Reiner had.

It was a photo of her on Bertholdt’s shoulders, both of them laughing, and she smiled through her tears.

Ever since they were little, Bertl had given her piggyback rides, and she loved feeling so tall. He was always careful with her, and she knew he wouldn’t drop her.

She enjoyed being on his shoulders so much, actually, that she giggled quietly the entire time, and he never gave her shit about it.

She kept going, laughing at one, a selfie Reiner had insisted on, and she remembered having problems with fitting both Bertholdt and herself into the frame. Then there was one of the sunset, and a stray cat she and Mikasa had found on a walk one time, a photo of them, and Annie’s tears slowly stopped, looking through all the proof of times when she was happy.

It had happened, even if she wasn’t happy now.

She stopped at a photo that was still her wallpaper, smiling softly.

Mikasa was carrying Annie bridal style, and she looked so resigned, but she knew, moments after Reiner had taken the photo, she had burst into laughter, hiding her face in Mikasa’s shirt.

Putting her phone down, getting up to turn the music down and her lights off, she got back into bed, nestling in with all her pillows, an ache in her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs mentioned are Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy, and 400 Lux by Lorde.


	4. Then think of what you did (8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo um Annie and her father start to show up as a dynamic in this chapter, and I hope it makes sense, because it's drawn from personal experience, and I've always found it extremely hard to talk about or describe, so I haven't ever tried.  
> I hope the out-of-chronological-order timeline isn't bothering people too much!

She wasn’t gonna paint, she wasn’t gonna decorate, fuck that, this wasn’t home. She hated this house, she hated this room.

The empty walls were going to stay empty.

Annie didn’t sleep much that first night. There was a major road she could see out of her window, just a house away, and its noise was too loud and too foreign for it to fade away into background noise. She had only been away for about a day, but already she missed Mikasa and Bertholdt and Reiner.

She missed home.

At 3 am, she texted Bertholdt, not expecting a reply, but getting one anyways.

[Annie: I miss you guys]

[Bertl Turtle: We miss u too]

[Annie: What are you doing this late?]

[Bertl Turtle: Movies. Reiner wont admit it but I dont think he likes not having u around]

[Annie: Dorks.]

Bertl didn’t reply, and she made a series of texts, almost pressing the send button each time.

[Annie: I miss you]

[Annie: I wish I could explain]

[Annie: I’m sorry]

[Annie: I wish you were here]

Eventually she rolled over, bundled in her blankets, finally sleeping lightly after losing herself in a memory.

\--

_They laid together, legs entangled, foreheads resting against each other, and Annie sighed, Mikasa feeling her warm breath on her face and the rise and fall of her chest. Her eyes closed, and Mikasa held her hand a little bit tighter, voice barely more than a whisper._

_“You okay?”_

_“Just thinking.”_

_“If you want to talk, I’m here.”_

_She opened her eyes, stone-cold gaze so so soft when she looked at Mikasa._

_“I’m thinking about how you’re the only one since forever who has seen my hair down.”_

_She smiled, letting go of Annie’s hands to tangle her fingers in her soft blonde hair, carefully getting rid of any tangles she found._

_“I think it’s absolutely beautiful. I think the rest of you is beautiful too.”_

_“What are you talking about, Mika? You’re gorgeous, and I’m just kind of here.”_

_“Nope. You’re perfect and I love you.”_

_“I love you too.”_

_They were quiet for a few minutes, music faint in the background, Annie closing her eyes again, and Mikasa sounded confused when she spoke again._

_“Why would you think you’re not beautiful?”_

_“Cause I’m so fucking short. Cause I’ve got boring blonde hair and boring blue eyes. Cause I never do anything besides put my hair in a bun and wear varying hoodies. I don’t really look like a girl, I guess.”_

_“You don’t have to be a girl to be beautiful. I love your height, Annie, I love leaning down to kiss you and the way we fit together when your head is on my shoulder. Your hair is so pretty, and your eyes aren’t boring, they’re so many variations of blue and so interesting. And I like your style.”_

_Annie smiled slightly, blushing._

_“Shut up.”_

_“Never.”_

\--

Annie liked quiet. Quiet was warm days spent working or reading with Mikasa, days when there were little or none words, because they weren’t necessary. Quiet was comfortable.

She hated silence. Silence was solemn dinners with her father, the sound of an empty house. Silence weighed heavily on her small shoulders.

Silence was what she had gotten when she broke up with Mikasa.

They were quiet together, yeah, but not silent.

\--

Annie was woken by loud traffic and bright sunlight, lying in bed for a while until her father knocked on the wall.

This room shared a wall with the kitchen, and she had been smelling something cooking, so she got up, throwing a hoodie on over her loose tank top.

She went out to what was supposed to be the dining room, but was really just an empty room right now, to find her father sitting on the floor in front of a box, two plates of food on it.

He said nothing as she sat down.

She said nothing as she sat down.

They ate silently, Annie keeping her head down, unsure of what type of mood he was in. When he finished, he stood up, finally speaking.

“Keep unpacking. Tomorrow you have an appointment for school registration.”

Annie nodded, finishing her breakfast and throwing the paper plate away.

She went back to her room, cranking some music up, staring at the mess.

Her mattress was on the floor, blankets and pillows in its general area. There were boxes in every corner of the room, all her furniture either discarded or in the garage.

Well, shit.

Might as well start with clothes.

She found that box, pulling the hangers from the top and slowly making her way through her entire wardrobe, setting aside everything that needed to be in her dresser instead.

This was so tedious without Bertholdt and Reiner there.

To be fair, packing was tedious too.

Everything was tedious to Annie.

She finished that box, flopping onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

She would have much rather been sleeping. Honestly, if this was a normal day, she would still be sleeping.

She wondered what her friends were doing.

There were several short knocks on her door, and Annie got up, opening it for her father.

He looked inside at the multiple boxes still unpacked, raising an eyebrow, and then got to what he was really saying.

“Turn down your music. And are you seriously that behind on unpacking?”

She nodded apologetically, not trusting herself to speak. He made a sound of disdain, a sound that said “Do I _have_ to do everything around here?”

He left, and she closed the door softly, learning how to shut it almost soundlessly. She turned down the music, as requested, and looked towards a box, but couldn’t find the motivation to actually unpack it. She had no motivation, just a cold numb hole in her chest that seemed to open with every interaction with her father.

Annie wondered, sometimes, if her father hated her.

He didn’t love her, that’s for sure.

Was he apathetic towards the thought of his daughter?

She had taken after him in that respect.

What a shame, though, because her worst fear was being like her father.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gigglesnorts cause the last line intentionally sounds like I Write Sins Not Tragedies


	5. And how I hope to God he was worth it (4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M REALLY SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER.  
> I got sidetracked, and this just didn't wanna work with me.

Late April, about a month away from the end of their junior year, Annie got something she never expected.

Dinner was silent as always, and she got up to take her dirty dishes to the sink, absently thinking about what she was going to do that summer.

Spend most of her time with Mikasa and Bertl and Reiner and Armin, of course, but maybe they could go downtown for a day and do dumb things, obviously they were going to spend a lot of time at the pool-

“Annie.”

She looked up from the sink, afraid she had done something wrong, and answered hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“When you’re done with that, come sit back down.”

Genuinely fearful, she finished cleaning off her dishes and shot a quick text to Mikasa.

[Annie: Hold on my dad wants something????]

[Mikasa: Weird let me know what happens <3]

Comforted by her support, she sat down, waiting for whatever it was to happen.

“I have a job offer, and I’m taking it. We’re moving out by the end of the summer.”

Annie stared at him, mouth slightly open, mind reeling.

“W-wait, what? _Moving_?”

“Yes, that’s what I said.”

She looked down quickly, seeing the grain of the wooden tabletop but not taking it in.

“But- But I- this is my home, my whole life is here! Mikasa, Bertholdt, Reiner, Armin- school, sports- I’ve never known anything but this. And I only have a year left before everything changes anyway, _please_ -“

“So? You can make new friends, you can finish school anywhere. It’d be good for you. Don’t push it, Annie.”

Carefully keeping her expression what she hoped was neutral, she left, going into her room with a heavy heart.

She pulled up her contacts list, about to call Mikasa, but she took a moment, knees pulled up to her chest underneath her hoodie, hood flipped over her head.

How was she going to deal with this?

How could this even happen?

Was it- was it because of- _was it her fault?_

Mikasa had a positive effect on her, she was able to look people in the eye, speak a little louder, and she had reached out by bringing her to dinner that night, which crashed and burned-

Well, she was gonna think about this later.

Annie texted Bertholdt quickly before calling Mikasa, hands shaking slightly.

[Annie: I’m coming over tomorrow night, something happened]

[Bertl Turtle: K. Reiner invited?]

[Annie: Yes]

She called Mikasa, pushing all fear away.

“Hey. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. What happened?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure?”

Annie hesitated, staring blankly at the end of her bed.

“Yeah. So, where were we?”

“Math. Do you know how to do problem fourteen?”

“Shit, I forgot about that. No, I don’t. Ask Armin tomorrow, I guess.”

“Mm, yeah. You wanna see if he’s not busy during lunch? We could both use some studying with tests coming up.”

“Ew. Don’t talk about tests. But yeah, that sounds good.”

They lapsed into quiet, Annie still folded up against her pillows, but she could hear soft music from Mikasa’s end.

The night went on like that, Annie eventually untucking herself, grabbing her backpack to finish what she had left to do, talking most of the time, quiet others.

Hours later, she looked up to find it was near ten, and she sighed.

“Mikasa? I need to shower. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay. Sleep well, Annie.”

“You too.”

She got up, sighing, leaving her room for the bathroom with quiet footsteps, glancing down the hallway anxiously.

The door at the end of the hall was closed.

As always.

She showered, running over the situation in her head, and something occurred to her.

That was the most her father and she had spoken in….

She went to bed, not bothering to dry her hair, and sleep did not come for a very long time.

\--

Annie woke slowly, alarm blaring, and there was something in her face, obstructing her vision. Sitting up, she brushed at it, and feeling the texture, she realized her hair was everywhere.

Getting out of bed with some ungodly combination of a sigh and a whine, she left her room, and laughed when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Finding her phone in her hoodie pocket, Annie took a photo of her wild bedhead and grumpy “why am I awake” expression, sending it to Mikasa.

[Annie: Like seriously, what the fuck?]

She went on with her morning routine, spending a little extra time to get her hair to lie flat before putting it in a bun.

Mikasa met her at the end of the block as usual, hand slipping into hers, walking together to their bus stop in quiet.

Her day was pretty normal, actually, and she managed not to sleep through all of it. In eighth period, Bertholdt looked over at her, brown eyes worried, and he tossed a note at her. It landed in her hood, and she dug it out, unfolding it.

_Everything okay?_

She rolled her eyes, though grateful for his concern, picking up her pencil to reply.

_Kind of. We’ll talk tonight, I’ll come over after I get my stuff._

Flicking it at his head, Annie went back to her work, hoping to finish so she wouldn’t have any homework.

Evidently, her response was enough, because Bertholdt didn’t throw the note back at her. She went to her locker after the bell rang, Mikasa already there and waiting for her.

Annie smiled at her, handing her things to her and opening her locker, grabbing her backpack and closing the door. Mikasa helped her put everything in the bag, hand finding hers once they were done.

“How was your day?”

“It was fine, how was yours?”

“Alright.”

“That’s good.”

Mikasa laughed quietly, and looked down at Annie with a smirk.

“In PE, we played volleyball, and when I was serving I saw everyone take a step back. It was amazing.”

Annie nudged her, smiling.

“Of course they did. Everyone knows how good you are.”

She blushed, and they went into their bus, pushing through the crowded aisle to get to their seat.

Before she turned her iPod on, Annie put her head on Mikasa’s shoulder, voice quiet.

“I’m going to Bertholdt’s tonight, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Armin’s coming home with us anyway, that sounds good.”

They didn’t talk for the rest of the ride home, Mikasa gently shaking Annie when it was their stop. She raised her head, blinking, the heat of the sun and Mikasa’s presence making her sleepy.

“C’mon, we gotta go.”

They got off the bus, and stood on the pavement for a minute, Annie suddenly feeling desperately affectionate. She hugged Mikasa, holding on a little too closely, but she just kissed her head, dark hair a stark contrast to Annie’s light blonde.

“I’ll text you when Eren does something stupid.”

She nodded, forcing herself to let go of Mikasa, managing a small smile.

“See you later.”

Mikasa caught her hand as she left, squeezing it gently, watching her go worriedly.

“Come on, Mikasa, stop being a dork in love, we have video games to play.”

She turned to Eren, shaking her head, and they went home, Armin chatting excitedly about some new concept he was learning in his advanced math class.

\--

Annie tried the doorknob hesitantly, unsure of her dad was home or not, and to her slight surprise, it was locked. She dug out her keys, unlocking it with ease born of practice, slipping in and closing the door behind her.

Heading towards her room, she noticed a pile of boxes in the living room, and she ignored them.

Bertl and Reiner would help her figure this out.

She hoped it would be okay.

After throwing some clothes and stuff from the bathroom in a bag, she left the house as quietly as she had gone in, locking the door behind her and went to Bertholdt’s house.

Being two quiet, shy kids in kindergarten, they had bonded, and then Reiner came along, announcing that Bertholdt was his best friend now, and Annie had kicked him in the shins until she was included.

It was a beautiful friendship, and they had stuck together for a long time.

It was actually kind of hilarious, because Bertholdt and Reiner’s parents didn’t even care if Annie stayed the night at either of their houses, while Annie told her father she was staying with Mina.

(Mina moved away in the third grade.)

She reached his house, cutting through the yard and going through the door, a small smirk on her face.

“I’m home!”

His mother smiled at her, laughing quietly.

“You’re just in time for dinner, Annie.”

“It smells amazing. I’ll go tell Bertl.”

She went down the hall, hearing Bertl’s voice from his room, and Reiner’s reply.

Good, now they were both here.

She opened the door, tossing her bag into a corner, pausing to wait for them.

“It’s dinnertime, let’s go.”

Dinner at Bertholdt’s house was different from dinner at her house.

There was constant chatter, laughter, and debate, his parents teasing each other, everyone talking about their days, and Annie loved it.

It felt like home.

Later, they were back in Bertholdt’s room, and once they closed the door, he turned to her expectantly.

“So what’s going on?”

She sighed, throwing herself on his bed face first, reply muffled.

“Annie.”

Sitting up, she rubbed her face, scared to say it aloud.

“Last night- my dad, he told me that… We’re moving. By August.”

Reiner paused his game, coming over to sit by Bertholdt, staring at her.

“You’re kidding.”

She looked at him without a word, and his eyes went wide.

“No. You can’t move! We’re almost done with high school! You’ve lived here all your life, I can’t believe this. What about us, what about Mikasa?”

“I know. I-”

Her voice broke, and she dropped her gaze.

“I don’t know what to do.”


	6. When the lights are dim and your heart is racing As your fingers touch your skin (11)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update :D  
> (mainly making up for the abnormal gap between new chapters, I had awful writer's block)  
> (also to continue tearing your hearts out)

_They were walking through a park hand in hand._

_How fucking cliché._

_But Mikasa loved it._

_The warm sun on her face, the breeze with a biting chill and the scent of flowering trees, the shouts of other people there fading into background noise, Annie beside her._

_She loved Annie._

_It was such a beautiful day, she was glad to have convinced her to come with. Spring days like this weren’t to be wasted._

_Even if it meant skipping school._

_They wandered around for a while, Annie letting Mikasa put fallen lilacs in her hair. The smile on her face was worth it, even if the photo could be used as blackmail._

_Eventually tiring, they laid down in partial shade, staring up at the sky._

_“You know what I want?”_

_“Mm?”_

_“I want to live in this park. Let’s build a treehouse.”_

_Mikasa turned her head to look at Annie, laughing at the enthusiasm in her voice._

_“Are you suggesting we run away together?”_

_She was quiet for a minute, and Mikasa gently squeezed her hand, curious about the strange look on her face._

_“Yes, actually, I am.”_

_Mikasa moved closer, setting her head on Annie’s shoulder._

She woke with a sharp breath in, alone in her dark room.

The details of her dream remained, and she sat up, resting her head on her knees.

That was so not what she needed right now.

She should be over it by now. Plenty of fish in the sea, right?

One girl shouldn’t make her feel like this.

Mikasa sighed, pulling the blanket closer, lying back down on her side, staring at the wall.

It was cold, and she missed her.

She laid there awake for what felt like hours and hours, knowing that if things hadn’t changed, she would be asleep beside Annie.

Or not asleep.

But still, she would be with Annie, and after all the time they had spent together, that was what was normal to her.

Idly thinking, she thought of something.

_What would have her parents have thought of Annie?_

Not thinking about that.

Getting up, she turned her nightstand lamp on, blinking in the sudden light.

Going over to her desk to grab the shared laptop (Eren had left it in her room, what a slob), she knew what she was gonna do.

The running joke had been that Mikasa only loved one thing more than Annie, and it was music.

She didn’t have the words to explain why, but it had a huge presence in her life. So for practically everything- sleeping, studying, her friends, books she liked, just dumb things, she made playlists.

And she hadn’t made one for Annie yet.

Sure, she had made one while they were dating, but not since then.

Already running through song choices, she turned the computer on, tapping the mousepad impatiently.

It was gonna be called “why do i still love you” and it was gonna be sad because she was sad.

The bright screen hurt her eyes, but it was okay.

This was worth it.

So the rest of her night (early morning, honestly) was spent like that, humming random bars of songs she knew.

When she was finally done, the playlist looked like most of her music library. Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, Taylor Swift, Mumford and Sons….

The usual.

She didn’t even realize how late it was, when Eren came in, trying to be quiet, but he stopped short when he saw Mikasa awake.

“Mikasa?”

She looked up, eyes tired, surprised.

“What are you doing up?”

“What are _you_ doing up?”

He went over, sitting down on the end of her bed.

Mikasa was a morning person, but this was just strange.

It was 4AM, he was only up because he couldn’t sleep and had come in to see if Armin was online.

“Are you okay?”

She sighed, too exhausted to try and hide her feelings.

“I miss Annie, and I can’t sleep, and I’m just…”

He watched her face, and gently reached over, taking the laptop from her.

“I’ll stay in here with you. I’m sorry, Mikasa. It’s gonna be okay.”

Yawning, she shrugged, rolling over. Eren got up and turned the light off, settling at the other end of her bed so the light wouldn’t bother her.

Before switching to his user, he couldn’t help but notice the title of the playlist and its cover. He sighed, scrolling down, looking at the tracklist.

“Damn, Mikasa…”

She grumbled when he took some of the blanket, but her breathing slowed, and before long she was snoring softly. He logged out, switching to his side, and talked to Armin until they both fell asleep.

\--

Annie woke slowly, the absence of her blanket making her cold and irritated. She reluctantly sat up, leaning down to get it, and in the space between thoughts, she realized a song was stuck in her head.

For no reason.

_I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie, you had me._

She retrieved the blanket, settling back down, the song not leaving her head until she went back to sleep.

\--

Eren woke Mikasa up later that morning, shaking her gently.

“Mikasa. Come on, Mom’s making breakfast.”

She looked at him, nodding slowly, untangling herself from the nest of sheets and blankets they had made.

“How late is it?”

“Noon, so technically we’re having lunch. Don’t worry, there’s not much to do today.”

She followed him, rubbing her face, sleepy eyes adjusting to bright daylight.

“Morning!”

“Hi, Mom…”

Gesturing in her general direction as a hello, she got a cup and poured some juice, downing half of it. Throat no longer dry, she coughed, pushing a piece of hair out of her eyes.

“What’s for breakfast?”

“I made pancakes, come get some.”

She did so eagerly, and sat down beside Eren, and they not-so-subtly had a “who can eat the most pancakes” contest.

At least this was normal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcYfNANvs-06ajhBxcxvA0D-PIn8DiZhq)  
> Apologies, it's not on 8tracks, it's on youtube


	7. I've got more wit, a better kiss Hotter touch, a better fuck Than any boy you'll ever meet Sweetie, you had me (14)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> Note: If this seems written weird, it's cause this is the first thing I wrote for this AU. Once I was done I was like "well I wanna post this but it doesn't seem done yet" and Kate told me to just wait and I did and well  
> this happened  
> thank u kate <3

She really should have expected to see her someday.

In a town like theirs, how could she not?

Maybe keeping her feelings hidden for so long really did have an effect on her.

Annie didn’t want to be in a run-down bar in her hometown.

After so long, it had too many memories attached.

She especially didn’t want to be there when she finally noticed that the woman singing was Mikasa.

And that her bandmates were Eren, Armin, Jean, Marco, and- that was Ymir, wasn’t it?

Well, this was an awkward situation. She couldn’t leave yet, she was meeting Bertl and Reiner here.

Then Mikasa saw her, dark eyes widening in surprise and another emotion Annie didn’t want to identify.

She kept singing, ignoring her for the moment. As they finished the song, she covered the microphone with her hand and whispered with her band, all of them looking at her strangely, but complying.

When she turned back to the mic, there was an unsettling smile on her face Annie knew all too well.

“This song wasn’t on the set list tonight, but hey, exceptions can be made.”

Her voice wasn’t like Annie remembered.

It was different now, in a way she didn’t understand.

What other ways had she changed in the past few years?

Annie was very, very good at keeping her emotions behind a wall. But watching Mikasa do what she obviously loved, well, it hurt.

The music started quietly, Mikasa singing only a little louder, closing her eyes to concentrate, and Annie had to look away.

She knew the song.

When she looked back up, Mikasa’s eyes were on her.

“…I’ve got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck, than any boy you’ll ever meet, _sweetie you had me_ …”

Annie was very aware those words were for her.

Mikasa’s gaze left hers, scanning over the small crowd in the bar, mainly focused on the song.

When it was almost over, and Annie desperately hoped her dumbass friends would show up soon so she could have an excuse to leave.

Watching Mikasa without thinking, Annie remembered just how much she missed her.

When the last notes of their song were faded in the air, Mikasa thumbs-upped her friends, silently telling them something.

Annie couldn’t take it anymore.

Slipping off her stool, she shoved her way through the crowd of people (a skill she learned in the hallways of public school) to the exit, breathing in the fresh air with relief.

God, this hurt.

She used to be friends with them. Maybe they weren’t close, but they were her friends, and Mikasa was the closest of all of them.

And then-

Well, there was a reason she avoided thinking about it.

Moving out of the doorway, Annie leaned on the wall, rubbing her bracelet and humming absently.

The song was stuck in her head, god dammit.

She didn’t _blame_ Mikasa for doing that when she got the chance, no, she just wished she hadn’t had to.

It took another few minutes for Reiner and Bertholdt to get here, but when they did, they were a little concerned.

“Annie, why aren’t you inside?”

She opened her eyes, staring at Bertholdt, Reiner right behind him. Rubbing the back of her neck, she answered quietly.

“Mikasa’s there, singing with her friends. I… I didn’t want to deal with it.”

Bertl and Reiner did that eye-conversation thing, the pitying “Dammit Annie you were so good for each other I’m not mad just disappointed” look.

“You want to go somewhere else?”

“Please.”

Reiner putting an arm around her, she followed them back to their car, and sat in the backseat despite Bertholdt’s protests.

As the car started up, so did the stereo, the CD inside playing at where it left off, and Annie sighed.

“ _I’ve got more wit, a better touch, a hotter kiss, a better fuck, than any boy you’ll ever meet sweetie you had me. Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of exchanging body heat in the passenger seat. No, no, no, you know it will always just be me.”_

“Please skip this song.”

Side-eyeing her, Reiner skipped to the next song, pulling out of the parking space and going out onto the main road.

“Can I ask why?”

Laying her head against the cool glass of her window, Annie closed her eyes.

“She saw me when they were almost through one song, and when it was done, turned around and talked to them for a second, and then they played it. She was looking at me.”

Reiner whistled softly, glancing at Bertholdt.

“Damn.”

\--

 “Mikasa, what was that? It’s not like you to change your mind in the middle of a set.”

“Sorry, guys, um-“

Mikasa slowed, stopping with her mic stand in one of her hands like it was nothing, suddenly realizing everyone’s eyes were on her. Marco stepped closer, worried.

“Is everything alright?”

She smiled at him, sighing.

“Yeah, it’s just, Annie’s here. Like, she was here. Tonight. I didn’t realize it until we were almost done with Counting Stars. It was a split-second decision, I didn’t really think it through. “

Eren stared at her, and then dropped his equipment to make a short-lived run for the door.  Experienced with this situation, Jean and Ymir caught him, holding him back together while he shouted.

“Are you literally fucking serious right now? I’m gonna beat her up, I don’t care if she flipped Reiner that one time, I’m gonna kill her, oh my GOD-“

Jean’s face was dark, and for once, he agreed with Eren.

“She broke your fucking heart, I’m with him here, Mikasa. We should beat her up.”

Armin, pushing his hair back, looked at her with a smile.

“While it would be useless, like, completely useless, I think they’re right.”

She sighed, and Ymir shrugged. Historia, from her position in the doorway, added in after her.

“I’m in. It was no fun seeing you hurt, Mikasa.”

“You don’t need us to beat her up, but I like this idea.”

Mikasa sighed even louder, putting her stand down and looking at them in exasperation.

“You all realize she could take you all on at the same time, and win? Let it go. I got my petty revenge, it’s over. Eren, can they let you go or do I have to sit on you? _Again_?”

Historia giggled, humming Let it Go, earning a smile from Ymir. Mikasa turned to give her the _look_ , and she stifled a laugh.

“Are we still in fourth grade, or what?”

Eren, tired of glaring at her, relaxed, elbowing Jean and Ymir.

“I’m not gonna freak out, let me go.”

They did, and everyone went back to cleaning up, with several mutters about how Mikasa was being totally unfair and that they should just do it anyway. Before they went their separate ways, Marco checked his phone.

“Hey, you guys, are we all going to Connie and Sasha’s? She wants to know.”

Glancing at each other and Mikasa, Eren and Armin shook their heads.

“No, we’ll go home. Thank you, though!”

Mikasa tried to pretend she didn’t notice that they were doing it for her.

She went home with a heavy heart, driving “their” (her) van with the boys in the passenger seat, the three of them silent. Eren, watching her from the corner of his eye, noticed something he _could not believe_ he hadn’t before.

“Mikasa?”

She glanced at him for a second, not surprised to see that Armin was half-asleep in his lap, returning her concentration to the road after he didn’t reply.

“Is it just me, or- that bracelet you’re wearing, it’s hers, isn’t it?”

Mikasa didn’t reply. Armin hit Eren, and would have turned around to glare at him if he wasn’t so comfortable.

“Eren! We don’t mention that. Have you seriously not noticed? She’s your sister, for fuck’s sake.”

Eren looked helplessly over at Mikasa, seeing the stony look on her face and shutting his big dumb mouth.

They drove home in silence.

\--

Mikasa changed immediately, getting out of her tight shirt and even tighter jeans, sighing in relief when she finally had a baggy hoodie and loose shorts on.

“Miiiiiiikaaaaasaaaaa.”

Hearing her name, she sighed heavily, poking her head out of her room and looking over at the couch.

Eren and Armin looked hopefully back at her, half-cuddling, a spot open for her. Rolling her eyes, she went over, plopping down beside Eren, taking her share of the blanket and setting her head on his shoulder. The boys smiled, Armin pressing play on the remote and scooting closer, putting an arm around Eren, hand on Mikasa’s shoulder.

They had been best friends since they could remember, and when Eren and Armin started dating, they made an effort to keep Mikasa close, not wanting to lose her.

After most of their lives, they were very important to each other.


	8. Ever since we met I only shoot up with your perfume It's the only thing That makes me feel as good as you do (13)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of literally just wrote all of this today, so. Yeah. I'm too impatient to edit it, so if there's any errors, uh, sorry.  
> So sorry for the wait! I had some more problems with writer's block, and then got caught up in a new AU that is _completely_ Remmy's fault, so blame him. Don't worry, I'm not going to stop writing for this, it just may slow down if I start writing that AU too.

“Okay, bye now!”

“You’re so kind.”

Hitch scoffed, making a beeline for a boy in the store’s uniform. Annie sighed, wandering off to look around the store.

It was entirely uninteresting until she came to the cosmetics, passing a group of girls. They were giggling and spraying perfume at each other, and Annie paused as she smelled something…

Really, really familiar.

\--

_One of the only things that ever woke Annie was the lack of warmth. She opened her eyes slowly, soft grey light filtering through the curtains. Sitting up, she looked beside her and smiled. For once, Mikasa was the one who had stolen the blankets and wrapped herself up in them. Before taking them back, she slipped off the bed and leaned against the cold windowsill, looking at the dawn. It was all pastel pinks today, some lavender and orange hiding in the puffy white clouds. She watched the sun come up for a few minutes, turning only when she heard Mikasa stir._

_There was a mumble that sounded like her name, and Mikasa’s eyes were half open, confusion written in her face. Annie stopped herself from laughing and went back, laying down beside Mikasa and taking the offered half of her blanket burrito._

_She snuggled closer, wrapping herself around Annie. She pressed a soft kiss to her collarbone, blowing dark hair out of her face and smiling when she felt Mikasa exhale. She closed her eyes, no troublesome thoughts in her mind._

_This was home to Annie, warm and safe with Mikasa, breathing in her familiar smell._

_It was light and appealing, strong but not too overpowering._

_She smelled like springtime, like a breeze carrying the scent of something floral, when you felt the sun’s warmth and knew winter was slipping away. She smelled like life and light and flowers and love._

_It had always frustrated Annie, and she didn’t know if Mikasa had a perfume or shower soap or shampoo she used all the time, or what._

_“Mikasaaaa, do you use perfume or what? Telll meeeee…”_

_She giggled sleepily, nuzzling Annie’s head, voice light and teasing._

_“Nope. It’s a secret.”_

_Annie sighed, and let herself go back to sleep, content._

\--

She took a sharp breath in, standing in the aisle, paralyzed by the memory.

The girls took no notice of her, and one picked up a bottle, saying “I like this one best!” and when her friend asked to smell it again, she sprayed it, and Annie knew.

That was Mikasa’s.

Noting the label on the bottle, she forced her feet to move again, and found the bathroom.

Grateful that no one else was there, she leaned against the wall, hands covering her face, and tried to breathe again.

She could feel tears building, and sniffed angrily, hoping she wouldn’t cry. She had cried much too often when they moved, this shit was supposed to be over with.

She started crying.

Annie cried in the bathroom for a period of time that slipped away from her, she didn’t know if it seemed long or short or anything.

And then the door opened, and Hitch came in, opening her purse and digging through it, but she stopped short when she saw Annie.

Her voice was small, incredulous, and it just made her feel worse.

“ _Annie_?”

She brushed away her tears, dropping her gaze to the floor, trying to sound harsh but failing miserably.

“What?”

Hitch put her bag down on the counter and moved closer, no sharpness in her face for the first time.

“Are you okay?”

Annie wanted to nod, and was about to, but considered shaking her head, and just ended up shrugging, making a vague hand gesture.

Hitch bit her lip, uncertain of what to do, so she retrieved tissues from her purse and gave them to Annie, pressing them into her hand gently.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

She stared at the ceiling, managing to speak.

“My- My ex-girlfriend, there were… She wore this really nice perfume, and, and I went by that aisle and some girls were spraying it and I just-“

A fresh wave of sobs came over her, and she hid her face again, Hitch staring at her with wide eyes. Cautiously, she moved closer, and tugged Annie forward, hugging her.

Normally, Annie would flinch away, but she was too emotionally broken to do anything.

And, she realized, this was the first time someone had hugged her since she moved.

Hitch held her (such a strange thing to think) for a long time, waiting until she had calmed before pulling back and letting her wipe her face.

“I’m so sorry, Annie.”

Annie nodded, not trusting her voice to keep steady.

“Let me go wrap things up with that boy, and then we’ll go home, okay?”

She nodded again, and Hitch fixed her makeup and left with a concerned glance backwards.

Taking a few moments to compose herself again, she looked up and across into the mirror, smiling a bit sadly at her reflection.

The door closed behind her with a thump, and hands inside her pocket, taking out her wallet, she went back to that aisle.

Picking up the bottle, she opened it carefully, checking to make sure it was the right one.

(It was.)

She went to one of the self-checkouts, and while it processed her purchase, she texted Hitch a simple “I’ll be in the car” and went out of the store.

Hitch was only a few minutes behind her, and Annie opened her eyes, but didn’t turn her head. They didn’t talk for a few minutes, until Hitch turned down the radio and spoke hesitantly.

“So… You’re bi?”

Annie tensed, unable to keep back a hint of coldness in her voice when she replied.

“Yeah, I am.”

“That’s cool.”

She smiled, leaning back and closing her eyes.

Maybe Hitch was kind of a shitty friend, and maybe her old friends could never be replaced, but their friendship was better than nothing.

Better than being alone.  



	9. Girl, I was it, look past the sweat A better love deserving of Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat No, no, no, you know it will always just be me (10)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiiiiiit, okay, first, I'm sorry this took so long. I lost my drive, and this chapter just bored me.  
> I'm so sorry if I wrote Jean all weird, as obviously, I tend to focus more on the girls of snk, and while I love the others I just don't care as much.  
> Wait times should be faster, I like the next couple of chapters.  
> It's three thirty, what am I doing with my life?

“Hey, she’s cute…”

Mikasa barely looked up as Eren watched a girl pass by, hand curling into a fist underneath the table.

“Eren. You have as much interest in girls as I do in boys. No.”

Eren sighed, glancing to Armin, who shook his head with a “told you so” expression.

That afternoon, the insistence she date someone grew.

“Mikasa. Hey, I have something to ask you.”

She looked up as Jean slid in beside her on the bus seat, sighing internally.

“Sure.”

“Will you go out with me? On a date? It can be whatever you want, actual date, friend date…”

Mikasa considered it, staring out the window.

Jean was a genuinely good person, even if he and Marco needed to get over themselves and kiss already. They had always known each other, just like everyone else, so…

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind going on a friend date with you.”

Jean smiled, tightening his grip on his backpack as the bus came to a stop.

“I’ll text you!”

Mikasa rolled her eyes, turning back to the window, muttering.

“You don’t even have my number.”

\--

The next day, Jean came up to her in their only class together, face bright red.

“So I realized I don’t have your number…”

She smiled, flipping pages in her binder to tear off a piece of notebook paper, writing her number on it and giving it to him.

“I’ll actually text you this time. See you later!”

Mikasa’s day went as usual, even if she was a little exhausted. She hadn’t been sleeping well that week, tossing and turning, unable to still her restless thoughts. It had gone to the point where she had considered going across the hall and sleeping in Eren’s bed, but that would make him concerned.

It helped to know that if she needed him, he was there.

Later, at home, she lay on her bed, trying to decide if she would do her homework or sleep.

Choosing the latter, she rolled over and closed her eyes.

And her phone buzzed.

Sighing, she felt around for where she had tossed it earlier, reading the text.

It was “Hey, it’s Jean”, and she sent back a simple “Hey”, saving his number.

He responded quickly, and that was nice.

[Jean: So what do u want to do?]

She stared at her phone, setting it on her chest to try and think of a response. It took her a minute, but she picked it back up.

[Mikasa: Umm. I don’t really know. Talk about it later?]

[Jean: Ok J]

She set her phone back down, curling on her side and closing her eyes again.

\--

From a lengthy conversation in third period the next day (Mikasa was confused, it was fucking Thursday already, how was time passing so fast and so slow?), the decision was to go see the newest superhero movie, and if they wanted to, they would go get frozen yogurt afterwards.

Mikasa tried so fucking hard to care. She did. But she just couldn’t. Jean was a genuinely good person, she liked him, just not in _that way_.

She missed Annie too much.

\--

He picked her up the day after, and Carla smiled at him as they left, happy to see Mikasa going out.

She was fine until Jean pushed the armrest up and motioned her over, eyebrows raised in a question. Accepting, she moved closer, setting her head on his chest, his arm settling over her side. He was warm, and smelled good, and she liked it.

But it wasn’t Annie. It wasn’t _her_ warmth, _her_ softness, _her_ gentle touch.

She was lucky the movie was almost over. When the lights turned back on, they sat up, Jean’s eyes widening when he saw the shine of tears on her delicately shaped face.

“Mikasa, what’s wrong? The movie wasn’t _that_ sad…”

Mikasa laughed, almost, and Jean had this expression on his face.

It was pity, and sadness.

Gently, he took her hand as she stood, and they left the theater. He led her to his beat-up truck, opening her door and making sure she got in okay. Through the haziness of tears, Mikasa thought about how kind that was, unlike normal.

Jean was normally just as much as an asshole as Eren, maybe more. He acted like the rest of the boys, joking and loud and obnoxious, as much as she loved them.

But maybe he was better than he let on.

He slid in beside her, and leant over to open the glovebox, taking out a box of tissues, handing them to her. She wiped her face gratefully, hoping the little makeup she had bothered to put on wasn’t too smeared.

Cracking a smile, she gave the box back, having to ask.

“Why do you have tissues in your car?”

Jean laughed, putting them back.

“I was a Boy Scout for all of a month, and the one thing I learned was ‘be prepared’.”

That made her laugh, but then she was back to crying, setting her head against the cold window. Jean’s voice was hesitant, but she appreciated his attempts to help.

“…Do you still want frozen yogurt?”

“Yes.”

He turned the engine on, the radio starting up, playing quietly, and they left the parking lot, navigating through late-night traffic to the nearby frozen yogurt place.

They went in, and since Jean told her he’d pay, Mikasa went just a _tiny bit_ overboard.

Meaning, like, three types of yogurt, and all the toppings she could manage to fit on it.

Jean just _looked_ at her, and she covered her face in embarrassment, laughing.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t been here in years and I just couldn’t help it…”

He smiled, and paid, and they decided to go back out and sit in the cool night in the bed of his truck.

They ate quietly, until Mikasa looked over at him.

“Jean?”

“Yeah?”

“Why’d you take me out tonight?”

He took another bite before replying.

“You want to hear about it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well… Because when we were younger, I had a huge crush on you, and I wanted to see if I still felt that way. I don’t, just so you know. And you’ve been so down lately, I just wanted to see you smile for real. And cause… I’m trying to figure something out, and I felt like being around you might be able to help me.”

“Mmm.”

She chose to take a few moments before replying, thoughts wandering.

“It’s about Marco, isn’t it?”

He looked up quickly, eyes wide in the yellowed glow of the streetlamps, and she hastily tried to calm him.

“No, no, I’m sorry, I mean- it’s not obvious, just to me, I’ve seen it for years with you two. Please don’t worry, Jean, I wouldn’t dare…“

He sighed heavily, tipping his head back to stare at the stars, voice low.

“Not your fault. Sorry, it’s just… I haven’t really said it out loud yet? Yeah, it is about Marco.”

“If you ever need anyone, I am here, Jean…”

Jean looked back at her, smiling.

“Thank you.”

She nodded, scraping up the last bits of yogurt from her cup, listening to the faint roar of traffic.

“It’s getting late, you wanna go home?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Getting out and taking his empty cup to throw them away in a nearby trashcan, she climbed into the cab where he waited, turning the engine on.

The ride was quiet, as everything that needed to be said had been said.

He dropped her off in front of her house, walking her to the door, and before going in, she turned.

Leaning up just a little bit (since _when_ was _Jean_ taller than her?), she lightly kissed his cheek, the fleeting touch a goodbye and a hello. Her voice was soft.

“Thank you, Jean.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: this is the halfway point!


	10. Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster (2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long

Annie was so quiet on the way home.

Well, she was always quiet, but Bertholdt couldn’t help but notice.

He stopped walking, waiting for her to turn and look at him. Her eyes were wide, with a new kind of light in them, and he was happy to see her so bright, but- _why_?

“Annie, what happened?”

Reiner laughed beside him, voice light and teasing.

“Her cruuuuush finally talked to her…”

She tried to hide a smile, a faint blush rising in her cheeks. He stared at her, waiting for a reply.

“Um- Mikasa came out and sat with me? And we talked a little. And she has my hoodie. So. Yeah.”

Annie always spoke precisely, quickly, sure of her words and her meanings, never short and stuttering.

Bertholdt kept staring.

\--

Back in his room, Reiner out like a light on the floor, he got Annie to explain in detail.

“Okay, okay. So Reiner dragged me into spin the bottle, and oh my god- she kissed me, it was really softly and kind of weird. So then I left cause Reiner was laughing at me like a _jerk_ -“

 She kicked him from her spot on Bertl’s bed, and then continued.

 “So after a few minutes, she came out and sat with me, and I gave her my hoodie cause it’s cold outside. And we were talking, and she’d like to hang out with me and holy _shit_ she’s so pretty and nice, Bertl.”

He thought about it for a minute, Annie lost in her thoughts, and laughed.

“We’re talking about Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman. I cannot believe this.”

She blushed, hiding her face in her hands.

“I can’t either!”

They were quiet after that, slowly going through their routines and going to bed.

Bertl laid there in the dark hush of his room, the only sounds Reiner’s soft breathing and occasional snores, and the faint noise of cars passing by.

Annie was so rarely outwardly happy.

And never as blushy as she was that night.

If their relationship progressed, her and Mikasa…

Bertholdt smiled.

He had high hopes.

\--

Mikasa stared after the three of them, feeling like her heart might burst.

Annie Leonhardt, otherwise known as “that one scary bitch”, had _talked to her_.

She was _wearing her hoodie_.

Annie was so much different than how Mikasa had thought she was.

She was pretty and surprisingly kind and interesting and _wow_ her hoodie smelled so good.

Smiling, Mikasa put her chin in her hands, looking thoughtfully out into the street.

Armin and Eren came out, Eren with a… Shocked and disgusted look. Raising an eyebrow at him, he shuddered, Armin trying to stop a smile.

“I had to kiss _Levi_. It was like kissing a garbage can.”

Mikasa laughed at the thought, and at the look on Eren’s face.

“Ready to go home?”

“Ye-“             

His eyes narrowed and he went closer to Mikasa, staring at her hoodie.

 _“Whose hoodie is that?_ ”

She smirked, shrugging.

“You really wanna know?”

He glared at her, not appreciating the teasing.

“Mikasa, seriously. Whose is it? Do I need to beat them up? Cause I will.”

She laughed and stood up, ignoring him.

“Let’s go.”’

They walked home, Eren begging the entire time to know where and who she got the hoodie from.

Armin looked at her curiously, and she gestured him closer, leaning over to tell him in a whisper.

“It’s Annie’s.”

His eyes went wide, and his mouth opened, shock written all over his face.

“No!”

Mikasa smiled, looking away.

“She _didn’t_!”

“She did.”

Eren whipped around, distraction gone.

“Who? Mikasaaaaa, who?”

Armin stared at him and back to her, accidentally blurting it out.

“ _Annie_ gave you her hoodie?”

“ANNIE?”

“Armin!”

“I’m _sorry_!”

She shook her head, ignoring Eren’s “Holy shit. Annie?” and various mutters from behind her.

He was just gonna have to deal with his guard dog complex.

\--

The next day, before Armin went home, Mikasa pulled him aside.

“What’s Annie’s address?”

“Uh. Why?”

She blinked innocently at him, a smirk playing across her face.

“I have to return her hoodie, obviously.”

Rolling his eyes, he took out his phone.

“I’ll text it to you.”

\--

Annie walked home at noon the next day after brunch with Bertholdt’s family and Reiner, humming a nameless tune.

She still had a smile on her face.

Her dad was …somewhere, probably working, she didn’t particularly know or care. So she let herself in, closing and locking the door.

The silence of her house didn’t weigh so heavily on her that day.

She dropped her bag, throwing herself on the couch and turning the TV on, idly flipping through channels.

Before she got too far into reality show territory, there was a knock on the door, almost hesitant.

Annie sighed, muting the TV and getting up.

Mikasa was there when she opened the door, and she couldn’t stop a small smile when she saw her dark eyes widen in surprise.

“Hi.”

She leaned on the doorframe, waiting for her to explain.

“I wanted to give your hoodie back, and I want your phone number.”

She raised an eyebrow, trying to stop a small smile.

“Oh? Here, come in.”

Annie stepped aside for Mikasa, closing the door after her and falling on the couch, accepting her hoodie.

(But she didn’t bother to put it on.)

Following her lead, she sat down beside Annie, looking at the TV with confusion.

“Are you… watching Toddlers and Tiaras?”

She looked up sharply from trying to find the remote, biting her lip.

“Maybe. A little bit. Shut up, you can’t judge me.”

Mikasa leaned forward to pick up the remote, lying on the floor, and recognizing the layout, switched channels, a slight smile on her face.

“If you’re gonna watch reality TV, at least watch something interesting.”

“Seriously? House Hunters? Come on.”

Annie took the remote, switching the channel, not even trying to stifle a laugh.

“You know what, Annie?”

Mikasa grabbed the remote, meeting her eyes for a second.

“I bet you like cute animals.”

She went to Animal Planet, glad to see her favorite show was on right then.

Glancing at her, Annie smiled, settling back against the couch.

This wasn’t too bad.


	11. So, testosterone boys and harlequin girls Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close? (5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am _so_ sorry this took so fucking long. Trying to write this chapter was fucked up and I went through a lot of changes to it and the story itself, but here it is.  
>  Further notes at the bottom.  
> Haha, update, sorry, I realized this numbering was wrong. I fucked up somewhere. Shit.

Something had been wrong with Annie lately.

Very wrong.

It was like she was trying to pretend like everything was normal, but Mikasa noticed her half-hearted laughter and desperate kisses.

It was a perfect July day, and they were at the pool with their friends, soaking in the sun, splashing in the water, enjoying themselves as teenagers will.

But _someone_ wasn’t enjoying herself, and it was worrying.

Mikasa sat down on the concrete beside Annie, putting her arm around her shoulders.

“You doing okay?”

Annie made a small sound, leaning her head against her. Her feet moved back and forth in the water, creating little ripples she watched with a detached interest.

Mikasa frowned, gently brushing her hand over her arm.

“Do you wanna go home?”

She shook her head, wet hair cold against Mikasa’s chest. She pulled Annie a little closer, wondering how she could get her girlfriend to talk to her.

They sat together quietly for a while, their friends’ shouts of laughter and noisy splashing faded into background noise, feeling like the whole world was just the two of them.

And then, there were hands around their ankles, and their calm at the side of the pool was shattered.

Once they came back up to the surface, spluttering a little, Reiner was beside them, trying to breathe through his laughter.

“Oh man, that- that was _great_ , you gotta admit, I got both of you! Bertl, did you-“

He paused as he noticed their poison glares, backing away a little.

He swam away as fast as he could when they glanced at each other and turned to him with dangerous smiles.

Totally coincidentally, Reiner didn’t come out of the pool for a while after that.

\--

Afterwards, they were lying in Mikasa’s room, hair damp, skin cold from the lingering presence of water, and she was fidgeting.

That was even stranger.

Annie was a still person. Quiet and thoughtful and never moving without thinking it over.

She was used to her finding a comfortable position and not moving until she absolutely had to. But now she was playing with Mikasa’s fingers, hands so small next to hers, shifting around on her bed until she had to ask.

“Annie, what’s wrong?”

She sat up with a long sigh, resting her head against the wall, and Mikasa’s level of concern went from “kind of” to “extremely”.

“I can’t tell you, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Mika, I- “

Gently brushing her hair out of her face, Mikasa moved closer, setting a hand on her knee.

“Annie, it’s okay, you know you can tell me anything, right? Don’t worry, just, tell me sometime. I hate seeing you so upset.”

She raised her head, looking at Mikasa.

There was nothing for her to do but smile gently, and it worked.

Annie nearly threw herself at her, finding purchase in Mikasa’s arms, desperation in the way she moved closer, burying her face in her loose shirt.

Mikasa had _no fucking clue_ what was going on.

She just held Annie, worry in the creases of her face, gently stroking her hair.

They stayed like that for a long time, quiet, and Mikasa didn’t mention the wet spots she felt on her shirt.

This was her job, after all. To be there for Annie.

She only hoped Annie would talk to her soon, because this was weird, and this kind of weird was bad.

“Do you wanna stay tonight, or want me to come home with you?”

Annie’s voice was soft when she replied, turning her head so Mikasa could hear her.

“Either, I don’t care. Just- just don’t leave, don’t leave me.”

She nodded, not saying anything about the way her voice cracked.

“I promise. I won’t.”

\--

Annie didn’t dare tell anyone, but she considered Reiner’s birthday party to also be her going-away party.

It was August, and her dad had told her.

They were leaving, and she should be packing _now_.

She didn’t want it to be real.

She didn’t want to leave her room. Her girlfriend. Her friends. Her school.

So Annie Leonhardt, for once in her life, smiled for longer than a few seconds.

She smiled at Eren, Armin, Jean, Marco, Ymir, Historia, Sasha, Connie, Bertholdt, Reiner.

And of course she smiled at Mikasa.

Mikasa deserved a lot more than a smile.

She told Eren she enjoyed that one time when she taught him how to fight, told Armin how much she appreciated having his help with school, told Jean his hair was actually kind of cool-looking, told Marco his motherliness was probably the only thing keeping their group together, told Ymir she was kind of nice to hang out with, told Historia she loved how her positivity had always been helpful, told Sasha she was grateful for all the times she had given her something to eat, told Connie that one prank in the eighth grade was the most spectacular thing she had ever seen.

(When she left, they talked about it in hushed tones, amazed and surprised and more than a little bit weirded out. They connected the dots after she _left_.)

She hugged Bertholdt, pressing close to as much of him as she could reach, thanking him for being her friend, being her best friend, for being by her side for so long.

She hugged Reiner, wishing him happy birthday, trying to tell him how much she appreciated his loud personality, but his caring warmth, but he wouldn’t let her.

Typical Reiner.

And that night, in Mikasa’s room, Annie clung to her again, curling as close as possible, their legs intertwined, their foreheads pressed together.

She laid there in the dark with her for a long time, thinking.

She would miss this.

She would miss Mikasa, miss hanging out constantly, miss late-night talks and knowing there was someone who loved her, who cared for her more than anything.

She would miss her friends, their stupid smiles and jokes and laughs and weird habits.

She loved them, and she had said goodbye.

But the dilemma of Mikasa still remained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I fucked with the chronological ordering again, and I changed my outline. This will be two chapters shorter than originally thought, but that makes it easier on me and guarantees an ending for you. Not quite sure how long it'll take, but it will happen.


	12. So testosterone boys and harlequin girls, Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close? (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S FINALLY OUT!!!!! :D (I'm so sorry it took so long)  
> I really hope you like it!  
> I know the title is the same as before, it's the way the lyrics go.

It starts with a kiss, but it’s so much more.

A few days after the party, after the hoodie and the cute animals, they passed each other in the hall. It’s a small thing, they do it every day, but Mikasa _smiled_ at her.

And she swore, the corner of Annie’s mouth lifted.

The next time they passed, she brushed against her, and Eren looked at Mikasa suspiciously.

\--

“You may work in partners. Notice, I said _partners_. No groups of three.”

Reiner sighed, and turned around to Annie.

“Are we gonna ignore him or…?”

Across the room, Eren turned to Mikasa with a frown.

“We’re ignoring that.”

Both of the boys found them unresponsive, their attentions across the room with a curious look.

“We’re fine.”

Mikasa left her seat, going to the empty one beside Annie with a smile.

“I hope you’re better at this than I am.”

They worked together for the rest of the period, steadfastly ignoring Eren’s frequent confused glances.

By the time their class ended, they had finished their work and were quietly talking, just waiting for the bell to ring.

When it did, they parted with smiles, and said nothing to their friends about it.

\--

Annie raised her head, eyes half-open, hair sticking up, and stared at her alarm clock.

She could get out of her warm, warm bed, get dressed, put effort into actually doing something, leave the house, go to school where she hated most everyone around her, come home to silence, eat something, do whatever homework she had, and finally go back to sleep.

She could turn it off, roll over, and go back to sleep.

It’s obvious which she chose.

Hours later, she was awake enough to get out of bed, padding into the kitchen and seeking the easiest thing to prepare. She ate it while absently channel-surfing, and once done, put her bowl down and went right back to sleep.

The incessant buzzing of her phone woke her, and she fumbled for it, cracking an eye open to see texts from Bertl and Reiner.

[Reiner: Fucking seriously?]

[Reiner: You couldn’t even let us know u were skipping?]

[Bertl Turtle: Ignore him he was just kinda worried]

With a sigh, she tapped out replies.

[Annie: Im sorry I had no energy]

[Annie: Yeah I get it]

She laid her phone and her head back down, sleeping a little while longer.

When Annie woke again, school was over, and she thought about her friends, who had what classes and what teachers. She realized Mikasa shared most of them with her, and as she sat up, texted her.

[Annie: Hey do you think you could tell me what happened during class today?]

She replied quickly.

[Mikasa: Sure. You know where I hang out before first?]

[Annie: Yeah. Ill meet you there.]

\--

A few weeks later, Annie read alone in her room, tapping her foot to the beat, when her phone buzzed. She checked it, lying her book down across her lap.

[Mikasa: Hey, you wanna see a movie? No idea what we’re going to watch, I think it depends on what everybody wants.]

She stared at her ceiling, considering.

Go sit in a theater for a couple hours with her friends, see Mikasa, or stay in her room with a book that barely kept her attention?

Well, she was gonna have to go put a bra on.

That sucked.

[Annie: Sure. I can text bertl n reiner]

[Mikasa: Go ahead we’ll be there at 7]

An hour later, their entire group was at the local movie theater, and Annie could _see_ the fear in a younger employee’s eyes.

It was pretty funny.

Eventually, they settled on a movie, paid for tickets, and piled in. They were the only ones there, luckily, because they spent an extraordinary amount of time shoving, sharing food, yelling at each other, and generally being loud teenagers.

In the chaos, Mikasa and Annie found themselves sitting next to each other, and Annie gave her a small, hesitant smile.

Finally, they settled down, and the two girls spent the movie whispering remarks to each other, stifling their giggles, and wondering why some of their group was crying so hard.

“It was obvious one of them was gonna die, I mean, come on.”

“Tell that to Marco or Historia- wait, don’t say that to Historia, Ymir might kill you.”

Nodding, Annie glanced around, and with a smile, leaned closer.

“Don’t look now, but Reiner is crying.”

Mikasa glanced that way, and turned back to her with a delighted and surprised expression. She just shook her head, smile remaining.

“I’m gonna give him _so much shit_ about this.”

“Careful with that, I don’t wanna have to scrape you off the pavement.”

Annie tilted her head down to look at her, voice soft.

“I don’t think you should be worrying about me. But thank you.”

\--

Not too much later after the movie, Mikasa asked her at school if she’d like to come over and study, and Annie agreed.

As they rode the same bus, she walked home with Mikasa and Eren, quiet as Eren chattered. They got to the siblings’ house, and escaped to her room after a quick introduction.

“Sorry about Eren, he never shuts up.”

Annie smiled a little, taking her books and papers out of her bag.

“It’s okay, I’m just used to being quiet.”

“Quiet’s not a bad thing.”

They got to work, doing their homework, flipping through their textbooks.

“Thank you for inviting me, Bertl and Reiner can never do this. It’s so hard having two boys as your best friends. They never concentrate.”

Mikasa replied with a smirk, setting her pen down.  
  
“I know exactly how that is, it’s so frustrating.”  
  
“Well, you have _Eren._ ” __  
  
She laughed, and they smiled at each other.  
\--

Their study sessions turned into sleepovers, with less work, and more movies.

They were halfway through all the Disney movies on Netflix when Annie fell asleep, out _cold_ , and she was using Mikasa’s leg as a pillow.

When she finally noticed that Annie wasn’t replying to her comments, Mikasa looked down, and smiled.

She was fast asleep, strands of hair over her mouth moving up and down with her breath, creases in her face smoothed out. She looked happier in her sleep, and Mikasa brushed hair back behind her ear, returning her attention to the movie.

It took until the end for Annie to wake up, stretching slowly and shifting her head, blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

And then she realized her pillow was Mikasa’s thigh, and she sat up quickly, hitting her head on the wall.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-“

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. I mean, you’re especially cute when you’re asleep.”

And Annie _blushed_.

\--

Armin came over the next weekend like usual, and the three sat in Eren’s room and played video games for a long while, laughing and shouting and jostling each other. They were in the third lap of Rainbow Road when Mikasa’s phone buzzed, startling Eren enough that he fell off the map.

She ignored it, and his muffled wailing, long enough to win with a small smile. Then she picked it up, checking the new text.

[Annie: Holy shit you were right I fucking love cute animals]

Her smile grew as she replied, Armin staring at her. The second she put it down, he took it, scrolling through her inbox.

“Annie, Annie, Annie, me, Eren, Annie…”

Mikasa covered her face, and he grinned.

“Yooouuuuu liiiiikeeee heeeerrr.”

She remained silent, and Eren lifted his head.

“You’re not denying it.”

\--

[Annie: Can I come over?]

Mikasa fumbled for her phone in the blankets, its brightness hurting her eyes. She replied quickly, setting it back down and returning her attention to her show.

[Mikasa: Yeah. Let yourself in, I’m in my room.]

[Annie: K]

Fifteen minutes later, her door opened, and Annie slipped in, slouched in her hoodie. Mikasa looked up with a smile, making room in her blanket nest for the both of them. She sat beside her, and they leaned against her bed, watching TV, not speaking for a long while.

They found themselves curled towards each other, Annie’s ankle resting on Mikasa’s legs, their knees touching. Annie watched her face in the flickering light from the TV, looking at the sharp angles of her nose and chin, the subtle difference between the darkness of her pupils and the darkness of her irises.

“Mikasa?”

She barely glanced to Annie, but still listening.

“Yeah?”

“I think I love you. Is that okay?”

Her voice trembled slightly, and Mikasa smiled, turning to her, voice low.

“I think that’s more than okay.”

With that, she shifted closer, meeting Annie’s lips with her own.


	13. So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus (15)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Platonic Bertl/Annie in this one, and I discovered dorky and open and smiley Bertl gives me life.  
> Also, this chapter was faster because I had half of it already written, and writing people who are close to happiness but still so so far is what I'm best at. (◕‿◕✿)

Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner went to have dinner and catch up, falling back into routine as easily as best friends do. Annie asked about their parents and what they did at school and did they hate their jobs, the boys asking about much of the same.

Once they were done, they went back to the little house Bertl and Reiner shared with a college friend, Marcel, and after a quick introduction, the three of them hung out on the couch and played video games until they were tired. With sheets and blankets and goodnights, Annie was left alone on the couch.

She stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling, listening to the faint sounds of traffic, and wondered about a lot of things.

Sleep didn’t come easily.

And with it came the type of dream you don’t remember in the morning, just vague leftover emotions and details, always unsettling.

\--

Annie sat up, blonde hair forming a halo of bedhead around her face. Absently patting it down and thinking about getting out of her warm spot, it occurred to her.

She had dreamt about falling.

Bertl came out of the hallway, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, but still managed to smile at her. She made a “hello” motion, and he understood it only through years of habit.

Annie went to join him in the kitchen, watching him start the coffee machine without saying anything.

He filled a cup with water from the fridge’s tap and offered it to her, dark eyes soft. She took it with a smile, drinking it quickly and sighing, setting it aside.

“Good morning, thank you.”

“Morning, you’re welcome. How’d you sleep?” he asked, throwing a worried glance towards the couch. “That thing is way too uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, Bertl. I’m a lot lighter than you, remember?”

He grinned.

“That’s why I can do this!”

Her eyes went wide just before he picked her up and spun around, careful to mind the ceiling and the counter, setting her back down gently. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re a butt.”

“You still love me.”

She kicked his leg as he turned away, but gently, and it served as her answer. He just smiled back at her, voice quiet.

“I missed you a lot.”

“I missed you too.”

The coffee finished, and Reiner showed up around the same time as the bacon they threw in a pan started to sizzle, Bertholdt handing him his warm mug with a kiss.

The three ate breakfast together, but soon after, the boys had to get to work, telling Annie she was welcome to anything in the house that was theirs. She nodded, and they left.

And then she was alone.

Time to nose around, finally.

So she did, not finding anything of interest besides a book in Bertl and Reiner’s room that sounded intriguing.

The summer morning wasn’t too hot yet, and there was a nice breeze, so she sat out on the front step and read.

\--

It was only because of Eren’s warmth and Armin’s leg to use as a pillow that Mikasa had managed to fall asleep that night, she was overthinking Annie’s reappearance so much.

She woke slowly, to find Eren draped over her and Armin half off the couch. Shaking her head, she moved carefully as to not wake them, checking the time.

Well, she was late, but she still wanted her morning run. Already in shorts and a light hoodie, she grabbed her phone, earbuds, and keys, and considered leaving a note for the boys but didn’t.

She tied her hair up as she walked out, already scrolling through her music to pick what she wanted to listen to.

Mikasa started out slow, looking at the flowers and trees and everyday beauty around her, slipping into a jog.

Feet hitting the pavement at a steady pace, music in her ears, wind blowing around her face, she didn’t notice the way her lips curved into a smile.

It was when she was full-out running that she saw Annie, reading in the shade of a house. Still a good distance away, she slowed down, pulling her earbuds out, torn between running past and going to talk to her.

Annie didn’t look up until Mikasa was right in front of her, surprise in her eyes.

“…Hi.”

“Hi.”

Hating the awkwardness between them, Annie tried a smile.

“How have you been?”

“Pretty good. You?”

Mikasa couldn’t help the shortness of her tone, and Annie couldn’t help the way she hesitated before she replied.

“Alright.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds, until Mikasa let out a tiny sigh.

“Tell me one thing, Annie. Then I’ll go.”

Annie answered with silence, blue eyes hesitant as she looked up at her.

_“Why?”_

She knew exactly what the question meant.

Lowering her gaze with a deep breath, she moved over on the step and closed her book, making room for her. Figuring it couldn’t hurt, Mikasa sat beside her.

“Because even for you, I was too scared to stand up for myself. Because I thought about doing it and I thought about doing it and when I was about to I- I couldn’t. He… My father made me feel like I was miniscule and insignificant and worthless and I couldn’t look him in the eye and tell him no. And then I considered telling you and trying to make it work and I… I was afraid to do that, cause that would mean we meant something real to each other, and I know that’s stupid, so stupid, cause we did. I’m sorry, Mikasa, I’m _sorry_. I’m sorry I was so dumb, I’m sorry I was so afraid, I… Even if you don’t care, even if you hate me, you have to know-“

She turned to Mikasa, eyes intent on hers.

“I don’t regret much of anything. But I regret leaving you. Leaving _home_.”

They were silent.

And then Mikasa closed the space between them, wrapping Annie in her arms and curling herself around her like they used to, like days when Annie would come over with this blank look on her face and Mikasa made sure to not say anything important until she seemed alright.

Annie made a slight noise of surprise, but relaxed into her, breathing in her familiar smell. Mikasa rested her head against hers, rubbing her back with soft words.

“Annie, _Annie_ , I’m sorry too, I could have asked, I mean, I did, but I could have really asked you. I should have done something, you were so upset and I just didn’t know how to… When we talked, you always wanted to, and I didn’t know how to talk to you if you didn’t want to. It’s not all yours to carry.”

Mikasa closed her eyes, soaking in the comfort of being back in Annie’s arms after so so long, and her voice was whisper soft.

“I’ve missed you so much.”


	14. In case I lost my train of thought Where was it that we last left off? Let's pick up, pick up (16)

Mikasa’s arms still felt like home.

Her head still fit in the dip and curve of shoulder to collarbone to neck perfectly.

She could still feel Mikasa’s slight curves against hers, though there was more muscle than curve.

It was so _familiar._

But Mikasa had changed, and she hadn’t been there to see it, so she started with the simplest thing by scooting backwards.

She watched Annie with a trace of worry, hoping she wasn’t going to leave. But she tentatively reached up, holding her face and gently turning it to examine all the planes and angles of her face, some new, some old. Mikasa let her, patiently waiting for her to finish.

“I don’t know what’s different. I think I’m just not used to seeing your hair up like that. And how’d you get that scar?”

“Tell you later, okay? Now let me see you.”

Annie smiled, putting her hands down. Mikasa repeated her actions with soft hands, brushing hair out of her face.

“Your cheekbones and jaw are a little more pronounced. I think that’s all.”

“Mmm, yeah.”

They looked at each other in the golden morning light, Annie glancing at the strands of hair out of place, meeting her eyes, and pondering the inevitable, focused her attention on her lips.

Mikasa smiled before kissing her, hands holding her face so gentle, as if she was afraid it was all a dream.

Annie closed her eyes, before thinking better of it and pulling away slightly.

“Let’s go in.”

She stood first, offering her hand to Mikasa. Their gazes met, and there was a pause before she took it.

Annie knew what it meant, she wasn’t oblivious.

If things went the way she was hoping they would, she would spend a long time apologizing.

But she was willing to, and that was all that mattered.

Mikasa stood with her help, and their hands never parted.

Though both were eager to keep kissing, they ended up lying on the couch facing each other, Mikasa squished into it, but she didn’t mind. They simply looked at each other, faint smiles on their faces.

Where had the time gone?

She looked the same, she sounded the same, she felt the same, and most importantly, Mikasa loved her the same.

But she was a little different, a little new, and maybe, maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

Mikasa closed her eyes with a sigh, and Annie watched the familiar actions.

“I never stopped loving you.”

Her smile grew, and she squeezed her hand.

“I know.”

“What, not going to say it back?”

Annie responded with a kiss, free hand tangling in dark hair.

Outside, they had avoided talking of love, but now, with Mikasa’s lips on hers and free hand gently tracing patterns on the back of her neck, Annie couldn’t help it. When she broke away to kiss the new sharpness of her jawline, her voice was soft.

“I dated a couple people, and it never worked out. It was always you.”

Mikasa smiled, whispering “You know it will always just be me” playfully, and Annie laughed, kissing her more.

\--

Much later, Mikasa opened the door to their apartment, blush still faint on her cheeks.

Eren and Armin waited on the couch for her, sitting together, expressions like concerned parents.

They stared at each other silently, until Eren broke out his mocking dad voice.

“Young lady, where have you been?”

Armin stifled giggles, and Mikasa struggled to keep her face straight (unlike her sexual attractions) as she replied.

“You’re not even my real dad!”

Eren laughed as she tossed her keys onto the table, heading towards the fridge.

“I’m hungry.”

The boys turned to keep looking at her as she moved around the kitchen, eventually setting on an apple as red as her scarf and going back to throw herself down on the couch with them.

“What’s up?”

“Not much, just, you know, wondering where you had gone…”

Armin’s voice was casual, poker face on as he flipped through channels on the TV. Not entirely oblivious to his bait, Eren looked at Mikasa with a pout.

“He hasn’t let me play video games. I’m sad.”

“Because you get angry when you play video games, Eren. He doesn’t want you shouting in his ear.”

The smile on Armin’s face was answer enough.

“And where I was is a secret.”

The smile turned into clever innocence as he muted the TV, turning to her.

“Oh, Mikasa, you _know_ you can tell me. I love secrets!”

“No. I tell you, you tell Eren, Eren tells everyone else. Sorry, puppydog eyes.”

Eren looked at her, even more wounded than before, and she just sighed, getting up and going to her room, finally taking a bite out of her apple.

She knew they knew, or at least suspected, where she had gone.

She just wasn’t going to give them that satisfaction.

\--

Annie lounged around until Reiner and Bertl came home, greeting them absently when they walked in, not bothering to look up from her book.

The smug tone of Reiner’s voice tipped her off.

“Hey Bertl, what could that mark on Annie’s neck _possibly_ be?”

Her face went red, and Bertl laughed, going into the kitchen.

“Keep me out of your guessing games, Mr. Detective.”

Reiner leaned over the couch with a grin, and Annie really tried to ignore him.

“I wonder, could it be Mikasa dropped by? Oh, your love _survived_ the expanse of time and distance! How beautiful! And you just had to express your undying affections for each other!”

The dramatic falsetto of his voice made her put the book down and cover her face, leaning into her knees.

“Stooooop.”

A sudden thought made him drop the teasing.

“You didn’t fuck on my couch, did you? Oh my god, don’t tell me you fucked on my couch.”

A muffled “it’s not like you haven’t” was her only reply, and Bertholdt agreed.

“She’s right, Reiner.”

He sighed, giving in, and slapped Annie playfully.

“Oh well, congrats, I guess. Don’t fuck it up this time.”

She raised her head to look at him, nodding.

“I’m gonna really try not to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reiner being a goddamn asshole gives me life. So does teasing from friends.   
> Heads up, the next chapter is from earlier, and it is straight-up pain.


	15. Oh, now I do recall We were just getting to the part Where the shock sets in and the stomach acid Finds a new way to make you get sick (7)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahahaha. You poor souls.  
> I'm without internet and busy this weekend, but I'm hoping the next chapter will be up early next week.

Mikasa was left in shock, cold numbness washing over her body, mouth only able to form the word "Why?" when Annie was long gone. She stood in her doorway, staring out into the darkening night, until Carla came by.  


“Mikasa? Why are you in the doorway?”

Her response was cold and sharp.

 "No reason.”

She shut the door and left the front room, headed towards her own room.

If Carla saw the tears on her face, she didn’t say.

\--

She spent the rest of the night in her room, under a pile of blankets. Eren came in to get the laptop, and paused when he saw the lump on her bed.

“Mikasa, are you alive?”

He went over, poking her hesitantly, and there was a muffled noise, vaguely sad and annoyed.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Leave me alone, Eren.”

With a smirk, he jumped onto her bed, bouncing slightly.

“Miiiiikaaasaaa…”

She sat up, throwing her blankets off and glaring up at him with a tearstained face.

“I said _leave me alone, Eren_.”

He stopped bouncing, dropping down to sit on her bed, staring at her nervously.

“What happened? I need to kill someone, don’t I-”

She dropped her gaze, and Eren recognized the way her lip trembled from years of young childhood spent together.

“Oh shit, Mikasa, please don’t _cry_ -“

He pulled her close, and she burst into tears. Shifting awkwardly, one arm around her, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, texting Armin.

[Eren: Armin we need smores ice cream and u to come over]

[Eren: You have mikas fav movies on ur laptop right]

[Eren: Its an emergency]

[Armin: On my way]

\--

Fifteen minutes later, they were all on her bed, a tub of s’mores ice cream with three spoons in it, blankets draped over Mikasa, Eren and Armin sitting across from her, all their knees touching like they were children again.

“Spill it, Mikasa.”

She sniffled and took another bite of ice cream, staring into it.

“Annie broke up with me.”

Eren gasped, Armin’s eyes went wide, and she laughed.

It was broken, quiet, the type of laugh that’s almost a sob.

“I couldn’t- couldn’t even ask _why_ , I froze up, she looked so fucking sad, she didn’t really explain, even, just… Left.”

They waited to see if she would continue, Armin placing a gentle hand on her knee.

When she did, they listened intently, Eren jiggling his leg unconsciously, stopping when Armin shoved him with his shoulder.

“She’s been weird recently, and never told me why. I can’t believe I didn’t ask, _fuck_ , I should have made her tell me-“

Mikasa paused, and the expression on her face made Eren and Armin very, very nervous.

“Oh my god, could I have helped?”

She curled into herself, crying more, and the boys moved a little closer, setting the ice cream down and giving her what comfort they could.

\--

It is a known fact of the universe that Eren Jaeger is really bad at keeping his mouth shut. So obviously, everyone knew in a couple days.

It was horrible, but at least her friends tried.

Sasha gave her food. Connie came over and told her lots of jokes and gave her comedy movie recommendations, and managed to get her to crack a smile. Marco told her if she needed anyone, he’d be happy to help. Jean agreed with him, looking almost sadder than she was, for reasons she didn’t know.  Historia hugged her a lot, and gave her tissues and sad movies “in case you need a reason to cry” with a strangely understanding smile. Ymir offered to “give Annie a talking to”, and because of the way Historia shook her head from behind the tall girl, Mikasa declined (but at least it made her smile).

Reiner and Bertholdt gave her something entirely different.

She hadn’t expected to see them, as they weren’t her greatest friends, closer to Annie than to her.

“Hey, Mikasa.”

She looked up with a faint smile, doing her best to keep people from worrying. Bertholdt looked vaguely upset, and Reiner spoke quietly.

“We have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

“Annie moved away. We didn’t know she would break up with you, I swear. If you don’t believe me, her house is empty. I’m really, really sorry.”

Mikasa stared at Bertholdt blankly, taking it in.

“Oh.”

Reiner patted her arm, easy smile gone.

“If it helps at all, she was really upset when she came to say goodbye the other morning. Like, I’d never seen her cry before then.”

She nodded slowly, heart breaking even more.

So that’s why Annie had been so unhappy the last couple of months.

And of course, her boys stayed with her. Armin’s grandfather didn’t care, and Carla was too worried about Mikasa to say anything.

Eren and Armin were Eren and Armin. Always there for her.

They watched sad movies and ate ice cream and listened to her when she wanted to talk. Late at night, their warmth was comforting when she got too sad.

The only bad thing was that whenever she cried, Eren got that “I’m going to have to kill her” face. He was super pissed, and wasn’t afraid to show it.

Mikasa appreciated that.

Armin stayed pretty quiet, with his thoughtful face on.

She suspected he was analyzing the reasons Annie would have for leaving without telling anyone.

She didn’t want to know.

She just wanted Annie.

\--

Annie wasn’t going to lie.

She cried a lot.

She cried herself to sleep that night, she cried while saying her goodbyes to Bertholdt and Reiner, and she cried in the car.

Even though her boys had been so freaked out by her tears, she was pretty sure the last one was the worst.

Her father didn’t say anything, but she knew he couldn’t have missed the muffled sniffles or the intentional way she faced away from him.

Oh well.

Annie was used to him not saying anything.

The long car ride was tiring and she didn’t need tired on top of horribly sad, so after her tears slowed, she went to sleep.

She would just have to live with it.


	16. I hope you didn't expect To get all of the attention Let's not get selfish Did you really think I’d let you kill this chorus? (6)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. I'm sorry this took so long, I'm sorry it sucks. And I'm sorry it's shorter than normal, I just couldn't get anything more out of it. But I promise, I will finish this fucking fic before school or before September. Wish me luck.
> 
> Listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AivmKvkuF58) during the first scene.

On a lazy August day, just after Reiner’s birthday, the two of them laid on Mikasa’s bed, sharing her earbuds so they could listen to music.

One song ended, another started, and Annie shifted, laying her head on Mikasa’s shoulder.

_“It came to the end it seems you had heard, as we walked the city streets, you never said a word.”_

As they laid there, listening to the quiet sadness of the song, she felt wetness on her shirt, and suppressed a sigh.

“Annie…”

She turned to face her, sliding an arm over her waist.

“What’s wrong?”

Her voice was so quiet, so small, Mikasa shifted even closer to hear it.

“I don’t want that to be us.”

Confused, she didn’t respond, and the music filled the silence between them.

Then she understood.

“Annie...”

She shook her head, pressing her face into the soft skin of her neck without a word.

“Hey, don’t think about stuff like that. Please don’t worry. I know I can’t promise anything, but that’s never gonna be us. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Holding Annie just a little tighter, Mikasa closed her eyes.

They fell asleep, and a few hours later, the chime of Annie’s text tone woke them. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes, Mikasa nudged her. With a whine, she felt for her phone in the blankets, pulling away just a little to see the message.

“Uuuuugggggghhhh.”

“What?”

“Dad wants me home.”

“Lame.”

She stayed for a few more minutes, but got up, slipping out of her arms and pressing a kiss to her forehead. Mikasa rolled over and watched her leave the room, saying a tentative “I love you” as she reached the doorway.

They didn’t say it that often, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t true. It just seemed like she needed to hear it.

Annie turned back, hand on the doorknob, and smiled, the saddest smile she had ever seen.

“I love you too.”

\--

For the next day, Annie packed the last of their things,  everything they had needed up until then, heart heavy.

She and her father were eating dinner, about to pack the dishes up, about to trash or give away the food, and her thoughts ran rampant.

She wanted to talk to him, to ask if she could stay, to tell him about Mikasa, her girlfriend, her beautiful girlfriend and how much she loves her, thinking of conversation starters.

_“So, Dad, I have a girlfriend I haven’t told you about, I love her, can I stay here to finish school and be with her?”_

_“Is there any way I can stay here?”_

_“Do we really have to go?”_

She ended up opening and closing her mouth while staring at her untouched food, so close to saying something, to be brave and then-

“Annie, you look like a fish. What is it?”

_I can’t do it._

She drew in on herself, made herself smaller, and glanced up to meet his eyes.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

\--

During her own dinner, Mikasa’s phone buzzed.

She set her fork down, taking a drink, and slid it out of her pocket.

Due to her parents’ strict “no phones at the table” rule, she had to be careful.

The text was from Annie, and it confused her.

[Annie:  Can I come over for a little bit later?]

Hoping no one would notice, Mikasa replied quickly, looking up as she sent the text.

[Mikasa: Yeah go ahead]

An hour later, everything cleaned up, she laid on the couch playing games on her phone, waiting for Annie, and conveniently, there was a knock on the door.

She got up, smiling at Annie when she opened it.

“Hey. What’s up?”

Her face was pale, and she shut her eyes firmly for a few seconds before speaking.

 “Mikasa, I- we- we have to break up. I’m so sorry  I’m so fucking _sorry_ , and that’s not gonna make it better, I know.”

It felt like someone had just slapped her, or dumped ice cold water on her head.

_What?_

Annie rubbed the back of her neck, trying to hide the tears in her eyes.

“It’s not gonna make it better for either of us, but I don’t know what to do.”

Mikasa was silent, and Annie’s voice was very quiet.

“I’m sorry.”

“Okay.”

She looked up to give her a watery smile, putting her hand in her pocket.

“Bye, Mikasa.”

Her mouth moved to say what would usually accompany the goodbye, but she stopped herself. Looking absolutely _shattered_ , Annie left.

Mikasa watched her walk away, watched the way her shoulders shook after she was out of earshot, and her heart felt as heavy as a stone.


	17. Trembling hands Play my heart like a drum But the beat's gotten lost in the show (17)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking finally.  
> Mikasa becomes a musician, Annie does whatever. Idk.

And truly, she didn’t fuck it up.

Mikasa and Annie stayed together.

As hard as it was on them, the years apart was a good thing.

They had learned how to be apart, how to be Mikasa and Annie instead of Mikasa-and-Annie.

Knowing who they were independently made the relationship work.

\--

Mikasa woke suddenly, eyes flicking open, and she stared at the wall before relaxing.

Just a dream.

She rolled over to see a pale blonde poof of hair on the pillow next to her. With a smile, Mikasa gently brushed aside some of it, and the lump underneath the covers wiggled closer.

Glancing at the time, she sighed softly, wrapped her arms around Annie, and went back to sleep.

\--

It was cold.

What the fuck.

Yawning, Annie propped herself up on an elbow to look around the room, hair sticking up and out in random directions. The bathroom door was open, and she could hear the shower running.

And Mikasa’s singing.

“Baby I love you, I never want to let you go...”

She broke off, and Annie smiled, knowing she couldn’t remember the lyrics.

“…Everything you do is super fucking cute and I can’t stand it…”

Slipping out of bed and pulling her t shirt off, she went into the bathroom and got in the shower.

Annie pressed her head in between Mikasa’s shoulder blades, mumbling “You took all the warm.”

“Well, here.”

She pulled her into the water, and Annie closed her eyes, sighing deeply. She reached for the shampoo, and Mikasa gave it to her. 

They washed their hair in peace, letting the water wake them up.

“Hey, I have a thing tonight. It’ll be pretty lowkey, please come with?”

Annie shrugged, going through her list of things to do.

“Sure.”

She didn’t see the brilliant smile on Mikasa’s face.

\--

They spent the day together, lazing around and catching up on TV shows. Annie laid draped across Mikasa, head on her shoulder, and with her girlfriend’s warmth and the white noise, she went back to sleep.

Mikasa shifted her head to look at her, stifling a laugh.

People thought a bitchface was Annie’s default expression, but it was really this, calm and soft, and sometimes, she swore she could see the smallest of smiles on her lips.

(That was when Annie dreamt about her, but Mikasa didn’t know that.)

She watched TV a little longer, waiting until she was hungry enough to eat.

But Annie was still fast asleep, and she knew exactly how grumpy she got when someone woke her up.

“Hey. Annie. Annie. Wake up so I can make food. “

She grumbled, pushing her face into Mikasa’s neck.

“Aaaaaaannie.”

She shook her gently, sitting further up.

“No.”

“Come on, I’m gonna make food. Please?”

Annie sighed, lifting her head and blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

“Food?”

“Only if you get off me.”

She put her legs down, standing up a little wobbly, but Mikasa got up after her, taking her hand and leading her into their kitchen.

“What do you want?”

Annie pushed herself up onto the counter, yawning.

“Whatever.”

“Okay.”

Mikasa moved around, gathering her materials, and Annie kicked her gently every time she was within reach.

“Stop it, I’m making you pancakes.”

“You woke me up!”

She rolled her eyes, pausing to kiss her.

“I’m sorry.”

Annie smiled, not bothering to reply.

They ate pancakes and went back to the couch, watching a couple of movies before Mikasa realized she needed to get ready.

“Let’s get going.”

Annie nodded, already knowing what she was going to wear.

Once in their bedroom, Mikasa sighed heavily, grabbing a pair of skinny jeans.

As Annie got dressed, she watched her bend and stretch and jump around just to pull them up, unable to stop her laughter by the time Mikasa had them on.

“Stop it! You know how hard it is to get into these.”

“I know, I know, I just- it’s funnier when you’re watching someone else.”

“You know you love my strange mating ritual.”

Annie smiled at her.

“Of course I do.”

An hour later, makeup applied and ready to go, Mikasa looked at Annie, a tiny smile on her face.

“You look nice.”

Annie, being tiny even into adulthood, wore what would normally be a miniskirt, but came to the middle of her thighs. The blue of her top made her eyes even bluer, and even with her heels, was still shorter than Mikasa.

“Oh, do I?”

She knew exactly how good she looked, and Mikasa tried not to laugh.

In high school, she could have never imagined that her small girlfriend could become so confident in herself.

Annie smiled, pushing herself up just a little to kiss her softly.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.”

\--

She was right, it was pretty lowkey, a nearby coffee shop open later than normal.

While Mikasa set up, Annie chose the very best seat, nursing a latte and watching her move.

At eight, there were a few people around, and Mikasa started in, introducing herself and getting settled.

Annie closed her eyes and listened, familiar with everything she played. She had heard everything first, after all.

\--

Near the end of her set, Mikasa took a short break, and when she came back onto the stage, there was a look on her face that made Annie just a little bit nervous.

She settled back down, and looked at the crowd with a smile.

“Hey, would you guys mind hearing a cover? I haven’t done it in a while, so I might be a little rusty.”

Hearing no disagreement, Mikasa started in on a song that-

Annie knew that song.

Unable to keep the slight hurt out of her face, she shot her a look. Mikasa smiled gently at her, and Annie sighed.

“Is it still me that makes you sweat, am I who you think about in bed?”

She listened quietly, and she actually enjoyed it this time.

There was no anger or resentment in Mikasa’s voice, just a quiet concentration.

When it was over, she opened her eyes to see her putting aside the guitar and getting off the stage, coming over to her.

Annie raised an eyebrow, wondering what she was doing.

With a smile, Mikasa went down on one knee in front of her, taking her left hand, and her eyes went wide at the implications.

“Mikasa..?”

“Annie, will you marry me?”

With the beginning of tears in her eyes, she nodded, a quiet “ _Yes_ ” accompanying it. She slid a ring on her finger, but she didn’t care, she didn’t care about a ring when _Mikasa_ wanted to _marry_ her!

She slid forward to kneel on the floor, wrapping her arms around her and covering her neck with kisses, so overwhelmed with happiness.

Mikasa accepted her affection, a brilliant smile on her face. She noticed that Annie was saying something, and laughed when she realized.

“ _It will always just be you_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much!


End file.
